I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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