fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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