omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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