My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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