Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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