grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
only you would photoshop your dick
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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