It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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