Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
