I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
