well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
