I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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