Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
