I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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