Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
