I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
