i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Randomize
