i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
