i barfeds in our rink
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
