Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
