what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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