Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
