dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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