could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she pinky promised me she was 18
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize