If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
