brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I got her a Nickelback box set.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
