so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
