Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
