So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
