Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
