Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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