tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
