Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't deserve a penis
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
