We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
