I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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