Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
