So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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