you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
