I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
