i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
