dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize