Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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