You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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