Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
