I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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