did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
