When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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