I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
