i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
