i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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