i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
