Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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