I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he puts the penis in happiness.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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