Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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