:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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