i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so let's talk penis.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
