I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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