and she was petting her beer can
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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