her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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