I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
