Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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