Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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