Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
