doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
