I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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