He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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