every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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