who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're so nebulous sometimes
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
