are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
