Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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