I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
