Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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