We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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